Playing Horsey
One afternoon a little boy was playing outdoors. He used his mother's broom as a horse and had a wonderful time until it was getting dark. He left the broom on the back porch. His mother was cleaning …
Categorie
Jokes
Little Johnny at the Zoo
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. “So how was it?” his mother asked when they returned home. “Great,” Little Johnny …
Gas Meters
At the local gas utility written orders are issued to change meters when they are old or malfunctioning. On the order sheet is a "remarks" section, where the service representative notes any problems that prevented the job from …
A Little Action Tonight
Husband: "How about a little action tonight, honey?" Wife: "Over my dead body!" Husband: "How else?"
Old Bible
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it closely. What he saw …
Flowers
John walked into a flower shop. “I’d like some flowers please.” “Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?” He shrugs, “Well, I’m not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh...” “Perhaps I could help. What exactly have …
Onboard Ship
A Navy officer was cutting through the crew's quarters of his ship one day and happened upon a sailor reading a magazine with his feet up on the small table in front of him. "Sailor! Do you put …
Drummer
A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decides to change his instrument. After some thought, he decides on the accordion. So he goes to the music store and says to the owner, "I'd like to look at …
Train Schedule
"What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late?" complained an irate passenger to the railroad engineer. "How would we know the trains were late, if we didn't have a schedule?" replied the …
Lost
Jill was sitting in a bar having a drink. This guy walked over and sat down next to her. He said, "You have that 'lost' look in your eyes." Jill said, "You're close. It's a 'get lost' look."
Say It with Flowers
A gentleman was lured into a busy florist shop by a large sign in the window that read, "Say It with Flowers". "Wrap up one rose," he told the florist. "Only one?" the florist asked. "Just one," the …
Magician’s Family
"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year. "He's a magician, Ma'am," said Little Johnny. "How interesting. What's his favorite trick?" she asked. "He saws people in half," answered …
Broken Clock
A blonde called in a repairman to fix her electric clock. He examined it and told her, "There's nothing wrong with the clock. You didn't have it plugged in." She replied, "I don't want to waste electricity, so …
Wife’s Law
Aubrey Meek was brought before the court on the charge of refusing to obey a police officer. "Why did you refuse to move on when asked to do so by the officer?" the judge inquired, obviously wondering what …
Rehearsal Dinner
Little Joel was tired of hearing about his sister's up-coming wedding. The whole thing bored him, and the final straw came when we began discussing the rehearsal dinner. "That does it!" he exclaimed. "Now you've really gone overboard!" …
Baby Doctor
Nancy's nephew was 4 when she was pregnant with her first baby. She allowed him to place his hand on her belly and feel the baby kick. His little face scrunched and said, "How does the baby get …
Three wonderful words
Mary: John said those three wonderful words last night! Jill: Oh, do you mean he told you he loved you? Mary: Heavens no! He said, "You look skinny."
First Date
Doug: I know you're crazy about that little daughter of yours. What are you going to do when she starts to date? Bill: I figure I'll take the first young man aside, put my arm around his shoulder, …
Bad Potato
Billy and Joanna Brown went to a restaurant. Billy was about half way to finishing his meal when he took a hard look at the potato. He called the waitress over and said, "This potato is bad." The …
Broken Arm
Man goes to a doctor. He says, “Doc, I broke my arm in three places.” Doctor says, “Stay out of those places!”