Asked to Get Married
Sarah: I've been asked to get married hundreds of times. Miriam (surprised): Really?! By whom? Sarah: My parents.
Categorie
Jokes
Women’s Lib Speaker
A women's lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, "Where would man be today if it were not for woman?" She paused a moment and looked around the room. "I repeat, where would man be today …
Only Woman on Earth
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged. "You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman …
Front Page
There was a man who, everyday, would buy a newspaper on the way to work, glance at the headline, and hand it back to the newsboy. Day after day the man would go through this routine. Finally the …
Honeymoon
Leaving the wedding reception the honeymoon couple hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills. The driver wasn't too sure how to get there and said he would ask directions when they …
Finnish
A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki to buy furs. He arranges for a hooker to be sent to his room. When they're done, he said, "I'm afraid my Finnish isn't too good." The hooker replied, "Your …
Buried Husband
Nina met Rosey at the grocery store one day. Nina sympathetically said, "Oh, Rosey, I was so sorry to hear that you buried your husband the other day." Rosey replied, "I had to, he was dead."
Engine Trouble
A large two engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down. "No problem," the engineer thought, and carried on at half-power. Further on down the line, the other engine …
Assessment Nurse
Penny, a good assessment nurse was awakened at 4 a.m. to make a house call. She reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm. After the examination, she told the patient to send immediately for his lawyer and relatives …
Church Choir
A man, who couldn't sing, refused to quit the church choir despite hints that he could serve in other capacities. When the choir director had all he could take, he demanded that the pastor get rid of him. …
Life After Death
Jill and Mary were discussing life after death. Jill asked if Mary's husband believed in it. Mary said, "Does my husband believe in life after death? My husband doesn't even believe in life after dinner!"
Harmonica for Christmas
A child is asked, "What did you get for Christmas?" "A harmonica. It's the best present I've ever had," he replied. "Why?" "My Mom gives me a dollar a week not to play it."
Weeweechu
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said "Hey baby, let's play Weeweechu." "Oh no, not now, …
Baby Nap
When Mary was pregnant, her 5 year old son, Billy, was utterly amazed, and a little bit disbelieving, that his sister was growing in his mom's tummy. So one day when the baby was especially active, she sked …
Great Parents
Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for …
Fat Free Fries
John stopped at a fast food restaurant, intrigued by a sign which offered fat free fries. He decided to give them a try, but he was dismayed when the clerk pulled a batch of fries from the fryer …
Smart Ass
A donkey had an IQ of 186.He had no friends at all though. Even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart ass.
Fast Delivery
A woman took a package to the post office to mail and was told it would cost $2.40 for fast delivery or $1.30 for slower service. “There is no hurry,” she told the clerk, “just so the package …
Bad News During Lunch
In the middle of lunch, Mrs. Slotnick is interrupted by a committee of workmen who report that her husband has just been badly wounded on the job and is in critical condition at the hospital. She does not …
Bank Policy
A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!" Cashier: "Sir, you stepped away from the counter. We don't make …