Funeral
A fine funeral was ordered for a woman who had henpecked her husband, driven her kids half nuts, scrapped with the neighbors at the slightest opportunity, and even made neurotics of the cat and dog with her explosive …
Categorie
Jokes
Allotments
A woman, married to a Navy Pilot, inquired about an increase in their monthly allotment for living quarters, because rents near the Station where he was based were so high. She received the following letter back: "Class Q …
Music Lover
After dinner one evening a rancher's wife was entertaining their house guest by playing the piano. At one point she turned to the visitor and said, "I understand you love music." "Yes," murmured the guest politely. "But never …
Pregnant
"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she …
Hugging the Secretary
John's boss came in one morning and caught him hugging his secretary. He said in a rage, "Is this what you get paid for?” John told him, "Nope! I do this for free."
In Case of Accident
In filling out an application for a job, Jill was puzzled for a long time over this question: "Person to notify in case of an accident." Finally she wrote, "Anybody in sight."
Missing
A woman goes to the police station to report that her husband was missing. "Can you give me a description of him?" asked the officer. "He's short and bald and skinny and wrinkled and wears dentures," answered the …
In the Jungle
Two intrepid explorers met in the heart of the Brazilian jungle. "I'm here," declared one, "to commune with nature in the raw, to contemplate the eternal verities and to widen my horizons. And you, sir?" "I," sighed the …
Jaguar
The wife had a birthday and her husband wanted to know what she desired. She said she'd like to have a Jaguar. He didn't think it was best for her. But, she begged and begged until he gave …
Small Cottage
"I would like so much to buy a small cottage in the country and spend the rest of my life there with the woman I love." "And why don't you do it?" "My wife is against it."
Fort Dawson
It was during the gold rush in the Yukon Territory. Harry Alexander packed a bag, grabbed his Bible, and started out of the tent he shared with Gary Thorndike. Gary asked, “Where are you going?” “I’m heading into …
Daughter in College
The farm had been mortgaged, and gladly, to give daughter a college education. Now, driving home from the station after meeting her at the train, farmer Johnson was greatly disturbed when his daughter whispered, "I have a confession …
Flag Pin
At the jewelry counter of an exclusive Manhattan department store, a woman came in and asked to see American flag pins. The salesclerk displayed one model after another -- in gold or silver enamel, with or without rhinestones …
Where Little Johnny Came From
One day little Johnnie came up to his father and asked, “Dad, where did I come from?” Dad squirmed a bit, but thought it was time his son knew the facts of life. So, dad told his son …
Art Gallery
Jill and John go to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. Jill doesn't like it and moves on but John keeps standing there and looking. Jill …
Piano Lessons
A piano teacher rarely accepts preschoolers, because counting is so important in music. One day, pressed by a persistent mother, she agreed to interview a young lad of five. To test his ability, she pointed to the clock …
Helping Hand
A woman writing at post-office desk was approached by a man whose hand was in a cast. "Pardon me," said the man, "but could you please address this post card for me?" The woman gladly did so, agreeing …
That Makes Sense
Three old guys were out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, its Thursday"!! Third one says, "So am I. Lets go get a beer."
Free Haircut
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm going to buy a green tie …
Bible Study Group
A man was being proselytized by group of friends. "Come join our study group. We want to discuss mankind's relationship to God." "I'm married, I learned long ago that my opinions don't matter." "But, when you die, will …