What God Looks Like
In a nursery school, the teacher asked a little girl what she was drawing. "God," she replied. "But no one knows what God looks like," said the teacher. The little girl replied, "They will in a minute."
Categorie
Jokes
Doorbells
The family had spent the day moving from their farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, the 4 year-old ran into their bedroom to wake them up. Mom dressed him and told …
Improved Computer Skills
When Jill decided to improve her computer skills, she threw herself into it with enthusiasm. Every week she'd check out five or six instructional books from the library. After about a month the librarian commented, "Wow! You must …
Parting the Red Sea
"Wow, man," Timmy said. "God parted the Red Sea and let all His people through on dry ground!" "Sorry," said the 'scholar'. "But that wasn't the Red Sea; it was the Reed Sea. And its water is only …
At the Movie
The blonde was complaining to one of her friends. "It was terrible!" she said. "I had to change seats five times at the movie last night!" "Why?” asked her friend. "Did some guy bother you?" "Yeah," she said, …
Do you know who I am?
One of the burdens of office of the small town mayor was his brother in-law, a fellow who liked to throw his or rather, his in-law's political weight around. The mayor had instructed his policemen and other city …
Married
Jim: "I'm a man of few words." Bill: "Yeah, I'm married, too."
Odds and Ends
The software engineering field is staffed primarily by men; the ratio of male to female software engineers is on the order of 15 to 1. This makes it pretty easy for women to find potential mates among their …
Four Little Words
Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch. The talk naturally got around to their respective love lives. Marcy confided that there really wasn't anyone special in her life. Heather, …
Insurance Policy
"Darling," said the affectionate husband, "I've insured myself for $1,000,000. If anything happens to me you will be provided for." "Good," said his loving wife, "Now you won't have to call the doctor every time you feel sick."
Art Expert
Rachel Goldberg, a rich tourist, went to Paris to see the art galleries. She hired the services of a guide to show her around the Orsay Museum. "Oh!" said Rachel, looking at a painting. "That's a Monet, isn't …
Slow Train
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes …
Allowance
A father asked his 8-year-old son just what he thought he did to earn a weekly allowance. “Well, for one thing,” replied the lad, “I keep your wife occupied all day.”
Making Each Other Sick
John was laid up at home with the flu. His fiancée called and volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to him. He declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her. "Okay honey", …
Long Trip
This drunk gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and Cork. “About two hours," says the conductor. "OK," says the drunk "then how long is the trip between Cork and …
Present for Mother
The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap. Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, …
Tree for Blondes
There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm …
Washington Nativity
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas. This isn't for any religious constitutional reason. They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin …
Perfect Mate
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell …
Running Shoes
John's dog chewed the tongue on one of his new, very expensive running shoes. He hoped to save his investment, so he took the sneakers to a shoe repair shop. He placed them on the counter and told …