John calls Jill from work and says he will be home by 5 PM and hopes that dinner will be on the table when he gets there.
He arrives home and enters the kitchen and sees a package of pasta, jar of sauce, and can of vegetables on the kitchen table. „Jill, I specifically called you from work to let you know when I would be home. Where is my dinner?”
„Dinner IS on the table, John. It’s just not prepared.”
What an automated society we live in.
Have you ever noticed that when a traffic signal turns green, it automatically activates the horn of the car behind you?
In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, „Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous… or what?”
„Not at all, Ma’am,” the manager replied. „It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don’t pout when I yell at them.”
Aunt Mary, a spinster of 92, had finally consented to go to a rest home, but strictly on a two-week-trial basis. Consequently, she took a small overnight case with only the bare essentials.
A couple of days later her niece was surprised to get a phone call from her demanding more clothes.
„Please bring me that good black silk, my lavender print, the brown wool…” and she went on and on.
Finally after a brief questioning from her niece, Aunt Mary expostulated: „There are MEN in this place!”
Abe asked, „Is my face dirty or is it just my imagination?”
Mollie answered, „Your face is clean but I don’t know about your imagination.”
John was tasked with bringing the Christmas decorations up from the basement and start decorating the house and tree. During one trek up the stairs, heavily laden with boxes, he slipped and luckily only fell about two steps before landing square on his behind.
Jill heard the noise and yelled, „What was that thump?”
„I just fell down the stairs,” he explained.
„Anything broken?” asked Jill.
John replied, „No, I’m fine.”
There was just a slight pause before he heard Jill say, „No, I meant my decorations? Are any of them broken?”
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