Glaciers
A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, “Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?” “The glaciers brought them down,” said the guide. “But where are the glaciers?” …
Categorie
Jokes
Bank Robbers
The bank robbers had tied and gagged the bank cashier after extracting the combination to the safe and had herded the other employees into a separate room under guard. After they had rifled the safe and were about …
Recycled Resolutions
Jill: Did you make any New Year's resolutions? Mary: Nope! I'm gonna use the same ones I made last year. Jill: You can't do that! Mary: Why not? I never used them; they're just like brand new!
Arrival of the New Year
An optimist stayed up one New Year's eve to see the arrival of the new year. The pessimist stayed up to make sure that the old year left.
On Santa’s Lap
The kid was with Santa Claus. "I wanna have a train, a six-gun, an erector set, a chemistry set, a cowboy suit, a bicycle, a scooter, a catcher's mitt, a set of soldiers, a toy garage with cars …
Ticket for Norwald
A man was talking to a ticket agent. He told her, "I want to buy a bus ticket for Norwald." The ticket agent, searching their book of destinations, questioned him. "Norwald? Let me find that. Hmm... never heard …
Cold Front
While working at a local TV station, Tom asked the weatherman what kind of reaction he got at home if he predicted good weather but it rained and spoiled a family outing. "My wife doesn't get mad," he …
Relaxing Weekend
John: It's Saturday! Let's have a picnic, lie on a blanket, and just enjoy each other on our day off! Jill: John, it's 50 degrees outside! John: I didn't say we had to go outside.
Back in Style
At her grandparents 50th wedding anniversary, Jill was looking through a photo album of their marriage ceremony. "Grandma, so many of these styles have come back over the years," she commented. Grandma never hesitated. "That's why I've kept …
Coffee
One night Tom stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini-marts to get himself a cup of freshly-brewed coffee. When he picked up the pot, he could not help noticing that the brew was as black as …
King Solomon
Two venerable citizens were talking about King Solomon. "That old Solomon, he was a mighty wise King," mused one of them. "All those wives and concubines; you know sometimes I wonder how he arranged to provide the necessary …
Vampires
Three vampires went into a bar and sat down. The barmaid came over to take their orders. “And what would you, er, gentlemen like tonight?” The first vampire said, “I’ll have a mug of blood.” The second vampire …
At the Opera
A man started to snore in his seat at the opera. "Please stop your snoring," the usher pleaded. "You are disturbing the others..." "Look, buddy," the man said angrily, "I paid for this seat and I'll do whatever …
A Child’s Dream
A 6-year-old girl came up to his father in the morning and told him about this thrilling dream she had had the night before. When she suddenly stopped in the middle of the story, he asked her, "Okay, …
Former Ruler of Russia
Teacher: "Who can tell me what the former ruler of Russia was called?" Class: "Tsar." Teacher: "Correct; and what was his wife called?" Class: "Tsarina." Teacher: "What were the Tsar's children called?" There was a pause, and then …
Reusable Locket
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Don't you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever …
He Thinks He’s a Refrigerator
Shortly after the honeymoon was over and Cheri had relocated to Indiana, her husband's home, she found it necessary to find a psychiatrist. Cheri implored him, "Doctor, you've got to do something about Norm, my new husband, I'm …
Home Early
Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?" Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?" Son: "Who threw the eraser at the Principal?"
Doctor’s Fee
When the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that a doctor was seated at a nearby table. Springing up, the doctor skillfully removed the bone and saved his life. As soon …
Expired Hunting License
The game warden stopped a deer hunter and asked to see his hunting license. "This is last year's license," the warden informed him. "I know," said the hunter, "but I shouldn't need a new license, I am only …