Broken Tail Light
"How long have you been driving without a tail light, buddy?" demanded the policeman. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a low moan. His distress was so great that the cop …
Categorie
Jokes
Chasing the Girls
When Mr. Johnson had reached the age of seventy-five, he suddenly began chasing the young chicks. A neighbor brought this behavior to the attention of his wife. "What are you gonna do about it?" she asked. "Who cares?" …
Fat-Free Fries
Jim stopped at a fast food restaurant, intrigued by a sign which offered fat-free fries. He decided to give them a try, but he was dismayed when the clerk pulled a batch of fries from the fryer dripping …
Be Careful
As cab drivers oftentimes do, the driver was darting in and out of heavy traffic with complete abandon. After a few hair raising blocks, his passenger leaned forward and said, "Would you please be more careful? I have …
Geraniums
"Sorry, we don't have potted geraniums," the clerk said, and then added helpfully. "Could you use African violets?" "No," replied Ed sadly. "It was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."
Good Deed
A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. …
Give Them What They Want
A very unpopular but powerful lawyer died. Two of his "friends" saw the obituary notice and decided to go to his funeral. When they arrived, they found the church very crowded. "My heavens!" said one. "Look at all …
Building Rome
Mrs. Taylor, the teacher, asked her 5th grade history class, "When was Rome built?" and called on Timothy to answer first. "Rome was built at night," was his answer. "At night?!" asked Mrs. Taylor. "How ever did you …
Phone Home
A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she tripped on her rug, grabbed for something to hold on to and seized the telephone table. It fell over with …
Practicing the Violin
Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached …
Adam and Eve
One night Eve was done with her chores, so she settled down to watch the galactic show on the sky that night. A fine display of shooting stars of every size and color. Adam was rather late coming …
Heart Condition
One day the wife asked her husband what will he do if she were to die. The husband replied, "I'll also die." The wife asked him, "Why?" Husband replied, "Well, you know I have a heart condition and …
Shaving
One morning, while shaving, John was cursing and swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of Vickie, who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. "What's the matter?" she called out. "My razor - it won't cut!" he answered. …
Young Suitor
The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the girl he wanted to marry, in spite of her rejection of his proposals a number of times. He began what can only be called a "Campaigning" and …
Bosses Night Dinner
At an annual Bosses Night dinner for Helena, Montana, lawyers, sponsored by legal secretaries, it was time to announce the Boss of the Year. The master of ceremonies began: "First of all, our winner is a graduate of …
Radical Feminist
A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society …
Bad Hair Day
Rachel: What’s wrong with your hair, dear? It looks like a wig. Ruth: You know something - it is a wig. Rachel: How do you like that! You could never tell.
Started with a Virus
Justin, 7, had been ill, requiring several doctors' visits and tests before a specialist came up with the final diagnosis and treatment. Afterwards, his mother asked him if he understood what the doctor had explained to him. "No," …
New Suit
"Nice threads, man," commented Donald when his buddy showed up one day in a snappy new suit. "Where'd you pick 'em up?" Richard beamed. "My old lady got them for me. Pretty sharp, huh?" "I'll say. What was …
Santa’s List
This fella passed away, and he arrives at the Pearly Gates, and St. Peter is waiting there to check him in, and the guy questions St. Peter as to how he determines who gets in and who doesn't. …