Jim always loved fast cars. Taking advantage of the empty roads one morning, he accelerated down a wide-open stretch. Unfortunately, a young police officer was waiting at the other end, and Dad was flagged down. He greeted the officer with a cheery „Good morning.”
„And a good morning to you, Wing Commander,” replied the officer.”Having trouble taking off?”
A young boy called the pastor of a local „corner” church to ask the pastor to come by to pray for his mother who had been very ill with the flu. The pastor knew the family and was aware they had been attending another church down the road. So the pastor asked, „Shouldn’t you be asking Brother Simon down the road to come by to pray with your mom?”
The young boy replied, „Yeah, but we didn’t want to take the chance that he might catch whatever it is that Mom has.”
Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband.
„Henry,” she said, „I’ve just received a letter from mother saying she isn’t accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn’t you?”
„Er, yes, I did,” said the husband. „But I couldn’t spell ‘convenience,’ so I made it ‘risk.”
„Hey that’s a nice cat you got. What’s its name?”
„The cat’s name is Ow.”
„That’s a funny name for a cat; how did he get his name?”
„The cat named himself.”
„Dont be silly, cats can’t talk.”
„This cat talks. The first time I saw this cat I asked him, ‘Hey cat, whats your name?’ Of course, being a cat, he used very bad grammar but, nevertheless, he distinctly answered, ‘Me, Ow.'”
Sean stopped by a sandwich shop one afternoon and placed his order with the girl at the counter. She rattled off a list of condiments, but he stopped her when she asked if he wanted white cheese or yellow.
„What’s the difference?” Sean asked.
„Hello?” replied the girl, sighing and rolling her eyes. „The COLOR is different!”
Also known as ‘women’s intuition,’ this sixth sense thing is no myth. Women seem to know what’s going on in their man’s lives almost better than they do. Why is this?
Researchers discovered that women have more connections between the brain’s two hemispheres than men do. It’s these connections that allow them to put together a puzzle from seemingly unconnectable pieces.
That, and they go through all your stuff while you’re in the shower!
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