Watering the Plants
During a tour at the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, a New York City woman mentioned that she was raising a type of cactus in a pot on her apartment balcony. Another tourist asked her how she kept from watering …
Categorie
Jokes
Taste in Socks
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?" "That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks." "But that's perfectly normal," replied the …
Bad Girls
The mother was concerned that perhaps her daughter was not only not quite as chaste as she should be, but lately, didn't even seem to be selective. Trying to open a conversation on the subject of morals she …
First Flight
It was Judi's first plane trip. Boarding the aircraft she settled into a window seat in the non-smoking section. A man came over and politely said, "Ma'am, you're in my seat." "Go away and find another seat!" Judi …
Propeller
Rumor has it that the propeller on any light aircraft is only there to keep the pilot and passengers cool. What, you don't believe this? If it stops, just watch them start to sweat.
Time Management
The synagogue wanted to help their congregation cope better with the stresses of modern life, and decided to offer a course in Time Management. Soon after the course was announced, a member telephoned the Rabbi. "What time does …
Comforting
A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?" He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very …
Shower or Tub
When Suzy and John went down to the Georgia coast, they decided to stay in one of those quaint little bed & breakfasts. The clerk asked them if they wanted a room with a shower or a tub. …
Perfect Condition
Doctor: "Madame, I'd like to give you a thorough examination. Please take off all your clothes." Patient: "But doctor, I only stopped by for the blood test results. Dr. Johnson found me in perfect condition just yesterday." Doctor: …
Married
A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married?" "Yes, sir, once," said the witness in a low voice. "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a woman." The lawyer said angrily, …
Funeral
A lawyer attended the funeral of a rich man. A friend, arriving late, took a seat beside him and whispered, "How far has the service gone?" The lawyer nodded toward the clergyman in the pulpit and whispered back, …
Reward or Punishment
A famous rabbi died and his adoring followers prayed to God to have just a glimpse of him in heaven. Their wish was granted, but to their horror, they saw him with a beautiful blonde on his lap. …
Border Crossing
Flying home after visiting her daughter in England, Mary arranged to have her husband meet her plane at the Vancouver, B.C. airport. This meant a stop at the border crossing between the United States and Canada, where her …
Half of Your Work
A salesman came to Bill's door, selling books. Now Bill's wife is at work and Bill is usually the one who does most of the house chores. Well, Bill answered the door wearing his apron and the salesman …
Big Belly
Carolyn was down at the Carolina shore and was walking along the water's edge, when she came upon a man with a rather large belly who was sun bathing on the beach. Feeling a bit down on the …
Visiting New York
Two small-town merchants were visiting New York City for the first time to attend a conference. There was a large party thrown, with lots of food and drink. At the end of the party, they both staggered outside. …
Beautiful Gown
Jill's fine figure had been poured into a beautiful form-fitting gown and she made a point of calling her date's attention to it over and over again throughout the evening. Finally, over a nightcap in his apartment he …
Harpist
Agnes is an accomplished harpist who frequently plays for weddings, receptions, parties, and other such events. She is also blonde and has an appropriately cherubic face. She was on her way to an engagement at the Peabody Hotel …
Disguise
After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last …
Blonde’s New Dogs
A girl was visiting her blonde friend and noticed she had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her …