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26 apr.

„The Nutcrackers and the Sugar-Tongs” de Edward Lear

I
The Nutcrackers sate by a plate on the table,
The Sugar-tongs sate by a plate at his side;
And the Nutcrackers said, ‘Don’t you wish we were able
‘Along the blue hills and green meadows to ride?
‘Must we drag on this stupid existence for ever,
‘So idle so weary, so full of remorse,–
‘While every one else takes his pleasure, and never
‘Seems happy unless he is riding a horse? 		I
Spărgătorul de nuci stătea la masă,
Cleştele de zahăr stătea lângă el,
Spărgătorul spuse: „Tu nu ai vrea să
Călărim pe dealurile verzi niţel?
Traiul ăsta stupid de ce să ni-l târâm
Într-o plictisitoare veşnicie,
În timp ce toţi se-amuză şi nicicând
Nu-s fericiţi de nu fac călărie?!


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Publicat de in Paralele, Poezie, Traduceri
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09 sept.

Lost Contact Lens

The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes returned with the lens in her hand.

„How did you manage to find it, Mom?” the teenager asked.

„We weren’t looking for the same thing,” she replied. „You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.”

Publicat de in Jokes, Limba engleză, Umor
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16 aug.

Bawbag – cuvânt oficial în Macmillan’s Open Dictionary

Macmillan’s Open Dictionary a decretat că termenul este oficial după ce a făcut investigaţii în urma unei sugestii de la un cititor, aşa că „bawbag” este un cuvânt real. Dacă folosim termenul în Anglia, e ca şi cum am insulta pe cineva, pe când în Scoţia e un termen de alint, conform celor de la Macmillan.

Termenul argotic pentru „scrot” a fost folosit de zeci de ani înainte de apariţia fenomenului Twitter. În 2011, o furtună a fost botezată „Uraganul Bawbag”. Furtuna a fost devastatoare, cu vânturi de până la 265 km/h, care au măturat coastele, copacii au fost smulşi din rădăcini, iar şcolile, podurile şi drumurile închise. În câteva minute, denumirea a fost ca o scânteie ce a aprins un subiect de discuţie pe Twitter, devenind unul dintre subiectele de top # din lume.

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Publicat de in Limba engleză, Ştiri
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05 aug.

Reservations

Enjoying her vacation in Hawaii, Lisa called a cafe to make reservations for 7 PM. Checking her book, the cheery hostess said, „I’m sorry, but all we have is 6:45. Would you like that?”

„That’s fine,” Lisa said.

„Okay,” the woman confirmed. Then she added, „Just be advised that you may have to wait 15 minutes for your table.”

Publicat de in Jokes, Limba engleză, Umor
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13 mai

Blind Date

After being with her all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, „I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.”

„Thank heavens,” his date replied. „If yours hadn’t, mine would have had to!”

Publicat de in Jokes, Limba engleză, Umor
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18 dec.

Free Christmas Tree

A boy begs his father to get him a Christmas tree this year. Each year, the boy asks and the father tells him, „I don’t want to pay for it.” But the son kept begging.

Unable to bear his son’s whining, he picks up his axe one day and heads out of the house. Thirty minutes later he returns with a great big Christmas tree. „How did you cut it down so fast?” his son asks.

„I didn’t cut it down,” the father replies. „I got it at a tree lot.”

„Then why did you bring an axe?”

„Because I didn’t want to pay.”

Publicat de in Jokes, Limba engleză, Umor
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