Grandma Jones took her two grandchildren to the Zoo. They enjoyed the afternoon, wandering throughout the park and admiring the different types of animals. When they came upon the cage of storks, Grandma told the youngsters that these were the birds that brought both of them to their mom and dad.
The children glanced at one another… then the oldest leaned over and whispered to the other, „Don’t you think we ought to tell Grandma the truth?”
A tourist was at a bazaar on one of Cairo’s side streets, and saw a skull being exhibited. She asked the proprietor about it.
He told her it was the authentic skull of Cleopatra.
Alongside that skull was a smaller one, which also piqued her interest.
When she asked about that one, the proprietor said: „That m’Lady is also Cleopatra’s — but as a child.”
This guy is going through a nasty divorce. One night he’s sitting at a bar getting plastered. Suddenly he raises his head, looks over his LEFT shoulder and yells, „You women are all bitches!” then goes back to staring into his drink.
Five minutes later he raises his head looks over his RIGHT shoulder and yells, „You women are all whores!”
To that a women stands up and says, „I am not a whore!”
The guy keeps looking at his glass and says, „Then get over to the other side.”
A young camper at summer camp asked the chaplain if „hard on” was hyphenated.
The chaplain replies, „What in heaven’s name are you writing home about?”
The young boy says, „I’m telling Mom and Dad about the project we worked so hard on.”
Bill and Doug were having a drink at the bar and Bill says, „I found my wife’s G-spot”.
Doug says, „Oh yeah?”
Bill replies, „Yep – my neighbor had it.”
A gentile once wandered into a restaurant and ordered roast chicken. It arrived complete with potatoes and a few sundries, and the diner looked at it without much favor. He said to the waiter, „Don’t I get a green vegetable?”
And the waiter said, „And what color is the pickle? Purple?”
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