Sheep
The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?" "None," answered little Norman. "None? Norman, you …
Categorie
Jokes
Tough
When the waitress came to work, the manager met her at the door. "Look," he said, "I want you to put on your cutest uniform, fix your hair lovely, see that your makeup is on neat and walk …
Poor Pastor
A new member of a church is talking to the Pastor: "You have such a small congregation. How can they afford to pay you?" The Pastor said, "Well, I only earn $60 a week." The man is dumbfounded. …
Tough Judge
Guards escorted a handcuffed prisoner into the courtroom. "Is this a tough judge?" the prisoner asked the baliff. The baliff replied, "A tough but fair judge." "Yeah?" continued the prisoner. "How tough?" "The toughest judge since Pontius Pilate," …
Cleaning Service
The featured guest on a local radio talk show was a woman who owned a home-cleaning service. After she described what her clients could expect, the program's telephone lines were opened to the audience. The first caller struck …
Panhandler
A panhandling bum is walking along in the theater district just around matinee time. The streets are crowded with people rushing to get in to their shows. The bum sees a well dressed man walking along and goes …
Keep Husband in Line
The weeping wife poured out her heart to the eminent marriage counselor. "Isn't there some way -without turning into a nag- that I can keep my husband in line?" The counselor scowled. "Young lady," he said, "your husband …
He doesn’t like men
A female truck driver decided to buy herself a big dog for protection while she was on the road. She went to the local animal shelter and asked about one particularly large and fierce-looking dog and the attendant …
Woman Driver
A truck driver tried to edge his semi past the lady driver on the road ahead of him as she was obviously having difficulty deciding which lane she wanted to be in. Finally, her mind made up, the …
New Secretary
Two accountants were discussing a colleague's interest in one of the firm's new secretaries. "I just don't get it." said one. "She's an airhead -- nothing going on upstairs." “That may be true," replied the other, "but I …
Castro on TV
An old geezer was watching television when he screamed to his wife, "Git in here right now. You won't believe the perverted thing they're showing on TV." His wife took one look, then said, "Put your glasses on, …
Object of Adoration
Aboard the USS TARAWA for six months, Don posted a picture of his beloved truck in his locker. Since his fellow Marines had pictures of their girlfriends posted, they often ridiculed him for his object of adoration. "Laugh …
New Hobby
Mrs. Smith pulled Mrs. Jones out of earshot of the porch, where Mrs. Jones' lovely young daughter, Linda, sat. "It is really none of my business," whispered Mrs. Smith, "but have you noticed what your daughter is doing?" …
Burglar
A man was sleeping when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up! Someone is breaking in!" The man had gone through this almost every night for 20 years, and he knew that the only way he would …
On the Table
John calls Jill from work and says he will be home by 5 PM and hopes that dinner will be on the table when he gets there. He arrives home and enters the kitchen and sees a package …
Automated Society
What an automated society we live in. Have you ever noticed that when a traffic signal turns green, it automatically activates the horn of the car behind you?
Male Employees
In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees …
Rest Home
Aunt Mary, a spinster of 92, had finally consented to go to a rest home, but strictly on a two-week-trial basis. Consequently, she took a small overnight case with only the bare essentials. A couple of days later …
Dirty Face
Abe asked, "Is my face dirty or is it just my imagination?" Mollie answered, "Your face is clean but I don't know about your imagination."
Decorations
John was tasked with bringing the Christmas decorations up from the basement and start decorating the house and tree. During one trek up the stairs, heavily laden with boxes, he slipped and luckily only fell about two steps …