Doug: Sir, my wife insisted that I ask you for a raise.
Boss: In that case, I’ll ask my wife if I should give you one.

Flying home after visiting her daughter in England, Mary arranged to have her husband meet her plane at the Vancouver, B.C. airport. This meant a stop at the border crossing between the United States and Canada, where her husband was asked: „What is your reason for entering the country?” and „How long are you planning to stay?”

He replied that he was picking his wife up at the airport after her trip to England.

Without missing a beat, the guard asked two more questions in the same businesslike tone: „Is the house clean?” and, „Are there fresh flowers on the table?”

Or avea muşterii?

When Mr. Johnson had reached the age of seventy-five, he suddenly began chasing the young chicks.

A neighbor brought this behavior to the attention of his wife. „What are you gonna do about it?” she asked.

„Who cares?” said Mrs. Johnson. „Let him chase girls! Dogs chase cars — but when they catch them, they can’t drive!”

Ah, ce soţ iubitor…

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One day the wife asked her husband what will he do if she were to die.

The husband replied, „I’ll also die.”

The wife asked him, „Why?”

Husband replied, „Well, you know I have a heart condition and most likely I would not be able to tolerate that much happiness.”