„Now, what are you planning to do about that excess weight you’re carrying around?” the doctor asked the patient.
„I just can’t seem to lose the weight,” the patient said. „Must be an overactive thyroid.”
„The tests show your thyroid is perfectly normal,” the doctor said. „If anything is overactive, it’s your fork.”
A doctor recently had a patient drop in on him for an unscheduled appointment. „What can I do for you today?” the Doctor asked.
The aged Gentleman replied: „Doctor, you must help me. Every time I make love to my wife, my eyes get all bleary, my legs go weak, I can hardly catch my breath… Doctor, I’m scared!”
The Doctor, looking at his 86 year old patient, said: „Mr. Smith, these sensations tend to happen over time, especially to a man of your advanced years, but tell me, when did you first notice these symptoms?”
The old gent’s response was: „Well… three times last night, and twice again this morning!”
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. „You say you’re here,” he inquired, „because your family is worried about your taste in socks?”
„That’s correct,” muttered the patient. „I like wool socks.”
„But that’s perfectly normal,” replied the doctor. „Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks.”
„You DO?” exclaimed the man. „With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?”
Doctor: „Madame, I’d like to give you a thorough examination. Please take off all your clothes.”
Patient: „But doctor, I only stopped by for the blood test results. Dr. Johnson found me in perfect condition just yesterday.”
Doctor: „So he told me… so he told me.”
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