Vocabular specific

Doctor: „I’m afraid I have some good news and some bad news, Miss Hottwot.”

Miss Hottwot: „Well, give me the good news first, Doc.”

Doctor: „Your lab tests came back today, and your crabs are all gone.”

Miss Hottwot: Gee, that’s great! But what’s the bad news?”

Doctor: „We don’t know what killed them.”

There was a pretty nurse named Carol who broke her engagement to a doctor. She was explaining everything to a friend.

„Do you mean to say,” exclaimed Cindy, „that the bum asked you to give back the ring and all his presents?”

„Not only that,” said Carol, „he sent me a bill for 37 visits.”

A man who suffered from impotence went to see a doctor. The doctor gave him a revolutionary new injection made from monkey glands, which worked perfectly. Nine months and two weeks later, his wife had a baby.

When the nurse came out of the delivery room with the news, he asked, „Is it a boy or a girl?”

„We won’t know until it comes down off the chandelier.”

Old man Murray goes to the doctor with a very worried look on his face. „Doctor,” he says, „you’ve got to help me. Do you remember those voices in my head I always complain about?”

„Yes,” the doctor replies.

„Well, they’ve suddenly gone away,” Murray says.

„So what’s the problem?”

„I think I’m going deaf.”

„Now, what are you planning to do about that excess weight you’re carrying around?” the doctor asked the patient.

„I just can’t seem to lose the weight,” the patient said. „Must be an overactive thyroid.”

„The tests show your thyroid is perfectly normal,” the doctor said. „If anything is overactive, it’s your fork.”