Adam and Eve
A German, a Frenchman, and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve strolling in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their stoicism," muses the German. "They must be German." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. …
Categorie
Jokes
Change of Plans
A bride called to make a change to her wedding registry. It is common, almost expected, that a bride will change something on her registry at least once (dishes, color of towels, etc.). The Customer Service Representative told …
Health or Wealth
Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament. "To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. To my son …
Fancy Restaurant
A Native American walks into a posh restaurant. The maitre'd greets him at the counter and says, "I'm terribly sorry sir, but we have no tables available at this time." "That's okay", replies the Indian, "I have a …
Gift Prayers
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR …
Formal
One night as she prepared for bed, Jill rubbed her hands with petroleum jelly and covered them with an old pair of white gloves. As she sat in bed reading a book with her gloves on, her husband …
Norway’s Unknown Soldier
A delegation from the USA came to Norway, and after the grand reception and everything, asked to be taken to the monument of the unknown soldier. The hosts became very confused, and didn't know what to do - …
Eight Children
A proud mother telephoned a Sunday newspaper to place an announcement that she had given birth to eight children. The line was bad, and the operator didn't hear the message. "Would you repeat that?", the operator asked. "Not …
Finding the Car
A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into every car and then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out of the bar and stops the guy. "What the heck …
Blonde Driving Test
A blonde is taking the driving portion of her driver's license exam. She handles most of the maneuvers quite well. She has a little trouble parallel parking, however, and winds up a couple of feet from the curb. …
Dead Uncle
"Do you mean to tell me your whole family was shocked and surprised when your ninety-five-year-old uncle died?" Bill asked Doug. "That's right." Doug said. "But if he was ninety-five years old, why was everybody surprised?" Bill asked. …
Chopsticks
A man lunching at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said, "Chopsticks were provided only on request." "But," the man countered, "if you gave your …
Yellow Canaries
A lady went to a pet shop. "I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner. "Sorry, lady, we don't have any canaries, but we have these," the owner said, as he showed the lady some …
Getting It Right
A boy was writing something, and he asked his dad, "Is it 'negger' or 'nigger'?" His dad said, "NO! Neither of those is right! If you must use something like that, use ‘Negro’." The daddy went to where …
Fat Farm
Did you hear about the lady who went to the fat farm and discovered the program really worked? The first day alone she was $500 lighter.
Grieving Widow
A lawyer was trying to console a weeping widow. Her husband had passed away without a will. "Did the deceased have any last words?" asked the lawyer. "You mean right before he died?" sobbed the widow. "Yes," replied …
Tell Grandma the Truth
Grandma Jones took her two grandchildren to the Zoo. They enjoyed the afternoon, wandering throughout the park and admiring the different types of animals. When they came upon the cage of storks, Grandma told the youngsters that these …
Egyptian Artifacts
A tourist was at a bazaar on one of Cairo's side streets, and saw a skull being exhibited. She asked the proprietor about it. He told her it was the authentic skull of Cleopatra. Alongside that skull was …
Wrong Side
This guy is going through a nasty divorce. One night he's sitting at a bar getting plastered. Suddenly he raises his head, looks over his LEFT shoulder and yells, "You women are all bitches!" then goes back to …
Hard On
A young camper at summer camp asked the chaplain if "hard on" was hyphenated. The chaplain replies, "What in heaven's name are you writing home about?" The young boy says, "I'm telling Mom and Dad about the project …