A lawyer was trying to console a weeping widow. Her husband had passed away without a will. „Did the deceased have any last words?” asked the lawyer.

„You mean right before he died?” sobbed the widow.

„Yes,” replied the lawyer. „They might be helpful if it’s not too painful for you to recall.”

„Well,” she began, „he said ‘Don’t try to scare me! You couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with that gun.'”

Two storks are sitting in their nest – a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying so the father stork is trying to calm him. „Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.”

The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, and the baby stork is crying again. The mother says, „Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he’s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.”

A few days later, the stork’s parents are desperate because their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he’s been all night. The baby stork says, „Nowhere. Just scaring the crap out of college students!”

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