A lawyer attended the funeral of a rich man. A friend, arriving late, took a seat beside him and whispered, „How far has the service gone?”

The lawyer nodded toward the clergyman in the pulpit and whispered back, „He just opened for the defense.”

A very unpopular but powerful lawyer died. Two of his „friends” saw the obituary notice and decided to go to his funeral. When they arrived, they found the church very crowded.

„My heavens!” said one. „Look at all these people. How do you explain it?”

„Well,” said the other, „Give people what they want and they will all show up.”

At an annual Bosses Night dinner for Helena, Montana, lawyers, sponsored by legal secretaries, it was time to announce the Boss of the Year. The master of ceremonies began: „First of all, our winner is a graduate of the University of Montana. So that already eliminates some of you as candidates.
Our winner also is a partner in a downtown Helena law firm. That eliminates some more of you.
Our nominee is honest, upright, dedicated…”

A voice from the audience cut in: „Well, there go the rest of us!”

Nimeni nu scapă

Lawyer: „Judge, I wish to appeal my client’s case on the basis of newly discovered evidence.”

Judge: „And what is the nature of the new evidence?”

Lawyer: „Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left.”

A lawyer was cross-examining a witness:

„You have just testified that you heard the shot at exactly 11:32 p.m.? How did you know what time it was? Did you look at your watch?”

„No,” the witness said. „I looked at the sundial in the garden.”

„That’s absurd,” screamed the lawyer. „How could you tell time by a sundial at 11:32 at night?”

„I had a flashlight,” the witness said.