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Police Officer: You’re definitely to blame for this car accident.
Driver: What? That other driver clearly drove into me! How can you say it’s my fault and not his?
Police Officer: Because his father is the mayor, his brother is the chief of police and I’m engaged to his sister.

A boy begs his father to get him a Christmas tree this year. Each year, the boy asks and the father tells him, „I don’t want to pay for it.” But the son kept begging.

Unable to bear his son’s whining, he picks up his axe one day and heads out of the house. Thirty minutes later he returns with a great big Christmas tree. „How did you cut it down so fast?” his son asks.

„I didn’t cut it down,” the father replies. „I got it at a tree lot.”

„Then why did you bring an axe?”

„Because I didn’t want to pay.”