This drunk gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and Cork.
“About two hours,” says the conductor.
„OK,” says the drunk „then how long is the trip between Cork and Limerick?”
The irate driver says to the drunk „It’s still about two hours. Why’d you think there’d be a difference?”
„Well,” says the drunk, „It’s only a week between Christmas and New Year, but it’s a long time between New Year and Christmas!”
The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap.
Santa doesn’t usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, „What do you want for Christmas?”
„Something for my mother,” said the young lady.
„Something for your mother? Well, that’s very thoughtful of you,” smiled Santa. „What do you want me to bring her?”
Without blinking she replied, „A son-in-law!”
There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, „I’m chopping down the next tree I see. I don’t care whether it’s decorated or not!”
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