On a flight home after a business trip, Bill was waiting for his meal. By the time the attendant reached his seat, only one dinner remained on her cart. Nonetheless, she followed routine by asking, „Steak or chicken?”
Bill stared at the dinner for some time before responding, „Okay, I give up. Which is it?”
„Patty,” a lady called to a little girl who was in the parlor, „did you tell your mother that I was here?”
„Yes, ma’am,” answered Patty, demurely.
„And what did she say?”
„She said, ‘Oh, not that dreadful woman again!'”
A tour bus load full of noisy tourists arrives at Runnymede, England mid-day. They gather around the guide who says, „This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta.”
A man pushing his way to the front of the crowd asks, „When did that happen?”
„1215,” answers the guide.
The man looks at his watch and says, „Shoot! Just missed it by a half hour!”
Two old men, Bill and Joe, were sitting on a porch reminiscing about World War II. „It was a real struggle,” said Bill.
„I know what you mean,” said Joe. „I remember I was struggling all the way. I fought and I fought, and I fought, and when I thought I was tired out, I found the strength to carry on fighting another day.”
„Yup.”
„But it didn’t matter, because in the end they made me join the Army anyway.”
Mary: I’ve known this really nice man for a while now. I’m thinking of spending the weekend with him.
Jill: Mary, you know it’s a sin to engage in premarital sex.
Mary: Yeah, but it’s not premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
To help untangle his fishing gear, John asked his wife and her sister to walk the fishing line across their front yard and hold it taut while he reeled it back in.
A man strolling by saw the two good-looking women and did a double take. „I don’t know what you’re using for bait,” he said, „but I’ll take a dozen.”
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