01 aug.
Be Good for Nothing
As a mother was bribing her little boy with a quarter so he would behave, she said, „Why do I always have to pay you to be good, why can’t you be good for nothing like your dad?”
Arhiva categoriei 'Jokes'
25 iul.
Peanut Butter
The 13-year-old had a beau, but it seemed he hung out at her house more for the food than romance.
One afternoon the girl told her mother, „Harry seems more interested in food than me. Is there any kind of perfume that smells like peanut butter?”
18 iul.
First Date
„Hey Bob,” said Bill, „did you know a lot of shrinks say sex on the first date can prohibit any truly meaningful and lasting relationship from ever developing?”
„Damned right!” replied Bob. „I count on it.”
11 iul.
Barbecues
A blonde went into her local hardware store and bought two instant barbecues – the ones with the pictures of succulent foods on the lid.
The next day, she returned one of these to the customer service desk at the store complaining that there was no food inside! The assistant patiently told her that these were just barbecue trays and that the food was not supplied with them.
„Oh dear” said the blonde, „I’d better take the other one out of the freezer then!”
04 iul.
Advantages
On his eightieth birthday party, the famous writer gave a small speech, he started „At such an age actually, a man has a lot of advantages,” he paused. The pause lasted for a while, then he added, „Well I am just trying to remember what they are!”
27 iun.
Dad’s Money
The teacher asked: „Little Johnny, if your father earned $100.00 and gave half of it to your mother, what would she have?”
Little Johnny replied, „A heart attack!”