Airport Security alerted an airline crew to keep an eye a blonde passenger who appeared excessively nervous and shifty-eyed. Soon after takeoff, the blonde man called a stewardess to his seat and said, „I have a live grenade in my pocket. I’ll blow up the plane if you do not divert to Cairo.”

Perplexed, the stewardess said, „But, sir. This is TWA flight 1219 to Cairo.”

„Damn!” replied the blonde passenger, „I got on the wrong plane.”

A plane full of retirees headed for Florida was gripped with fear when the pilot announced, „Two of our engines are on fire; we are flying through a heavy fog, and it has eliminated all our visibility.”

The passengers were numb with fear, except for one… a retired minister. „Now, now, keep calm,” he said. „Let’s all bow our heads and pray.”

Immediately, the group bowed their heads to pray… except one man. „Why aren’t you bowing your head to pray?” the minister asked.

„I don’t know how to pray,” replied the passenger.

„Well, just do something religious!” instructed the minister.

The man got up and passed his hat down the aisle, taking an offering.

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