The college football player knew his way around the locker room better than he did the library, so when the librarian saw the gridiron star roaming the stacks looking confused, she asked how she could help.

„I have to read a play by Shakespeare,” he said.

„Which one?” she asked.

He scanned the shelves and answered, „William.”

A man walks up to the main desk a library and says in a loud commanding voice to the librarian, „I’ll take two hamburgers, no mayonnaise, and an order of fries”.

The librarian looks up at him, shocked. Summoning up all the testy authority she can, she says to him, „Sir, this is a library!”

The man pauses for only a split second and then leans over close to her, cups his hand over his mouth so as to direct his voice only to her ear, and whispers, „I’ll take two hamburgers, no mayonnaise, and an order of fries”.

When Jill decided to improve her computer skills, she threw herself into it with enthusiasm. Every week she’d check out five or six instructional books from the library.

After about a month the librarian commented, „Wow! You must really be getting knowledgeable by now.”

„Thanks,” Jill said. „How can you tell?”

The librarian explained, „Only two of the books you’re checking out this week have ‘For Dummies’ in their titles.”