A New Yorker was being shown around the back country of Louisiana by his cousin. „Is it true that an alligator won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?” he asked.

The cousin smirked, „Depends on how fast you carry it.”

A lawyer was cross-examining a witness:

„You have just testified that you heard the shot at exactly 11:32 p.m.? How did you know what time it was? Did you look at your watch?”

„No,” the witness said. „I looked at the sundial in the garden.”

„That’s absurd,” screamed the lawyer. „How could you tell time by a sundial at 11:32 at night?”

„I had a flashlight,” the witness said.