Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other’s health, one asked how the other’s husband was doing.
„Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to cut a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!”
„Oh dear! I’m very sorry,” replied her friend, „What did you do?”
„Called and had a pizza delivered instead.”
„Mommy, my turtle is dead,” Little Johnny sorrowfully told his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand.
The mother kissed him on the head, then said, „That’s all right. We’ll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, and have a nice burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we’ll go out for an ice cream, and then get you a new pet. I don’t want you….” Her voice trailed off as she noticed the turtle move. „Little Johnny, you’re turtle is not dead after all.”
„Oh,” the disappointed Little Johnny said. „Can I kill it?”
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