29 iul.
On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. „Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?”
Tom responds, „Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness – and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single.”
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15 iul.
While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, Jim noticed several pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. He asked one nurse what the pin signified.
„Nothing,” she said with a smile. „It’s just to keep the doctors away.”
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08 iul.
Bill meets Doug shopping at the mall and sees he has a small gift-wrapped box.
„It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow,” Doug said. „Last week I asked her what she wanted for her birthday.”
„And???” Bill asked.
„Well, she said ‘Oh, I don’t know, just give me something with diamonds in it’.”
„So what did you get her?” asked Bill.
Doug replies, „I bought her a deck of cards!”
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01 iul.
„What happened to you?” asked the bystander of the man lying on the sidewalk outside of the beauty parlor. The man shook his head groggily and rubbed his bruised chin.
„Last thing I remember was my wife came out of the beauty salon. I took a look at her and said, ‘Well, Honey, at least you tried,’ and then it was lights out.”
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24 iun.
Little Johnny and his little sister are reading the book „Life of Animals”. Suddenly, they jump from the couch and run to their grandmother.
„Grandma, grandma, can you have children?” they asked.
„Oh my dear, of course not.” she replied.
Johnny turns to his little sister and says triumphantly, „I told you she is a male!!!”
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17 iun.
An old man says to the doctor: „Doctor, I lost my memory!”
Doctor: „When did this start?”
The old man: „When did what start!”
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