13 ian.
Allowance
A father asked his 8-year-old son just what he thought he did to earn a weekly allowance.
“Well, for one thing,” replied the lad, “I keep your wife occupied all day.”
Arhiva categoriei 'Jokes'
06 ian.
Making Each Other Sick
John was laid up at home with the flu. His fiancée called and volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to him. He declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her.
„Okay honey”, she told him, „We’ll wait till after we get married. Then we can spend the rest of our lives making each other sick!”
30 dec.
Long Trip
This drunk gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and Cork.
“About two hours,” says the conductor.
„OK,” says the drunk „then how long is the trip between Cork and Limerick?”
The irate driver says to the drunk „It’s still about two hours. Why’d you think there’d be a difference?”
„Well,” says the drunk, „It’s only a week between Christmas and New Year, but it’s a long time between New Year and Christmas!”
23 dec.
Present for Mother
The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap.
Santa doesn’t usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, „What do you want for Christmas?”
„Something for my mother,” said the young lady.
„Something for your mother? Well, that’s very thoughtful of you,” smiled Santa. „What do you want me to bring her?”
Without blinking she replied, „A son-in-law!”
16 dec.
Tree for Blondes
There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, „I’m chopping down the next tree I see. I don’t care whether it’s decorated or not!”
09 dec.
Washington Nativity
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas. This isn’t for any religious constitutional reason.
They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation’s capitol. There was no problem however finding enough asses to fill the stable.