02 mart.
Married
Jim: „I’m a man of few words.”
Bill: „Yeah, I’m married, too.”
Arhiva categoriei 'Jokes'
24 feb.
Odds and Ends
The software engineering field is staffed primarily by men; the ratio of male to female software engineers is on the order of 15 to 1. This makes it pretty easy for women to find potential mates among their peers. However, software types have a well-earned reputation for being… a little strange.
While discussing the prospect of working in the software industry, one woman commented to another: „The odds are good, but the goods are odd.”
17 feb.
Four Little Words
Heather and Marcy hadn’t seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch. The talk naturally got around to their respective love lives.
Marcy confided that there really wasn’t anyone special in her life. Heather, on the other hand, was beaming about the new man she had found. „He’s perfect. He’s handsome, and last night when we went out to dinner, he said the four little words I’ve been waiting to hear a man say to me!”
„He said ‘will you marry me’?” Marcy asked.
Heather replied, „No, he said ‘put your money away’.”
10 feb.
Insurance Policy
„Darling,” said the affectionate husband, „I’ve insured myself for $1,000,000. If anything happens to me you will be provided for.”
„Good,” said his loving wife, „Now you won’t have to call the doctor every time you feel sick.”
27 ian.
Art Expert
Rachel Goldberg, a rich tourist, went to Paris to see the art galleries. She hired the services of a guide to show her around the Orsay Museum.
„Oh!” said Rachel, looking at a painting. „That’s a Monet, isn’t it?”
„No, Madame, it’s a Manet,” replied the guide.
„And that one, it’s a Pissaro!”
„Er… no… I’m sorry, Madame, that’s a Monet.”
„Oh, I see. Now that one that’s a Picasso.”
„…. No, Madame, that’s a mirror.”
20 ian.
Slow Train
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. „What’s going on?” she yells out the window.
„Cow on the track!” replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, „What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?”