Jill and John go to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. Jill doesn’t like it and moves on but John keeps standing there and looking. Jill asks, „What are you waiting for?”
John replies, „Autumn.”
A piano teacher rarely accepts preschoolers, because counting is so important in music. One day, pressed by a persistent mother, she agreed to interview a young lad of five.
To test his ability, she pointed to the clock and asked, „What number is the big hand pointing to?”
He answered slowly, „Four.”
„And the little hand?” the teacher coaxed.
Puzzled, he looked from the clock to her and asked, „Do you want to know the time?”
A woman writing at post-office desk was approached by a man whose hand was in a cast.
„Pardon me,” said the man, „but could you please address this post card for me?”
The woman gladly did so, agreeing also to write a short message and sign for him. „There,” said the woman, smiling. „Is there anything else I can do for you?”
„Yes,” the man replied, „At the end could you put ‘P.S. – Please excuse the handwriting’?”
Three old guys were out walking.
First one says, „Windy, isn’t it?”
Second one says, „No, its Thursday”!!
Third one says, „So am I. Lets go get a beer.”
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together.
After the man received the full treatment – shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. – he placed the boy in the chair. „I’m going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade,” he said. „I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
When the boy’s haircut was completed and the man still hadn’t returned, the barber said, „Looks like your daddy’s forgotten all about you.”
„That wasn’t my daddy,” said the boy. „He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, ‘Come on, son, we’re gonna get a free haircut!'”
A man was being proselytized by group of friends. „Come join our study group. We want to discuss mankind’s relationship to God.”
„I’m married, I learned long ago that my opinions don’t matter.”
„But, when you die, will you go to heaven or to hell?”
„Wherever my wife tells me to.”
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