28 sept.
Shortly after the honeymoon was over and Cheri had relocated to Indiana, her husband’s home, she found it necessary to find a psychiatrist. Cheri implored him, „Doctor, you’ve got to do something about Norm, my new husband, I’m afraid he thinks he’s a refrigerator!”
The doctor reassured Cheri, „I wouldn’t worry too much about it, dear” the doctor replied. „A lot of people have harmless delusions. I’m sure it may be because of all the stress involved in the wedding and the move and I am quite sure it will pass.”
„But you don’t understand,” Cheri insisted. „He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake.”
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21 sept.
Mother: „Why are you home from school so early?”
Son: „I was the only one who could answer a question.”
Mother: „Oh, really? What was the question?”
Son: „Who threw the eraser at the Principal?”
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14 sept.
When the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that a doctor was seated at a nearby table.
Springing up, the doctor skillfully removed the bone and saved his life. As soon as the fellow had calmed himself and could talk again, he thanked the surgeon enthusiastically and offered to pay him for his services. „Just name the fee,” he croaked gratefully.
„Okay,” replied the doctor. „How about half of what you’d have offered when the bone was still stuck in your throat?”
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07 sept.
The game warden stopped a deer hunter and asked to see his hunting license. „This is last year’s license,” the warden informed him.
„I know,” said the hunter, „but I shouldn’t need a new license, I am only shooting at the deer I missed last year.”
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31 aug.
A fine funeral was ordered for a woman who had henpecked her husband, driven her kids half nuts, scrapped with the neighbors at the slightest opportunity, and even made neurotics of the cat and dog with her explosive temper.
As the casket was lowered into the grave, a violent thunderstorm broke, and the pastor’s benediction was drowned out by a blinding flash of lightning, followed by terrific thunder.
„Well,” commented one of the mourners, „sounds like she got where she was going.”
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24 aug.
A woman, married to a Navy Pilot, inquired about an increase in their monthly allotment for living quarters, because rents near the Station where he was based were so high. She received the following letter back:
„Class Q allotments are based upon the number of dependents, up to a maximum of three. If the birth of a child will mean your husband is entitled to more quarters allowance, notify him to take the necessary action.”
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