19 iul.
Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior was fresh as a daisy.
„I don’t understand,” he marveled, „how you can listen to complaining patients from morning till night, on a day like this, and still look so spry and unbothered when it’s over?”
The older analyst replied, „Who listens?”
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12 iul.
John couldn’t find his luggage at the airport baggage area. So he went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags never showed up. She smiled and told him not to worry as they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.
„Now,” she asked, „has your plane arrived yet?”
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05 iul.
Little Johnny was visiting a dude ranch and wanted everyone to think he was “Macho”. One afternoon he went out walking with one of the hired hands.
Walking through the barnyard, Little Johnny tried starting a conversation: “Say, look at that big bunch of cows.”
The hired hand replied, “Not ‘bunch’, but ‘herd.’ “
“Heard what?” said Little Johnny.
“Herd of cows,” replied the hired hand.
Little Johnny answered defensively, “Sure, I’ve heard of cows. There’s a big bunch of ‘em right over there.”
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28 iun.
The truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had just been served in a backwoods eatery. It contained dark flecks of seasoning, but two of the spots were suspicious.
„Hey,” he called out to the waitress, „these particles in my soup – aren’t they foreign objects?”
She scrutinized his bowl. „No, sir!” she reassured him. „Those things live around here.”
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21 iun.
Steve and Cliff are having this talk. Steve says, „My wife lets me subscribe to National Geographic and Playboy Magazines for the same reason.”
Cliff says, „Why?”
Steve says, ” Cuz with both magazines, I get to see places I’ll never get to visit.”
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14 iun.
A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. „Do you watch much television here?”
„Only the daytime shows,” the inmate said. „At night we’re locked in our cells and don’t see any television.”
„That’s too bad,” the reporter said, „But I do think it is nice that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime.”
„What do you mean, nice?” the inmate said. „That’s part of the punishment.”
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