22 nov.
Smart Ass
A donkey had an IQ of 186.He had no friends at all though.
Even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart ass.
Arhiva categoriei 'Jokes'
15 nov.
Fast Delivery
A woman took a package to the post office to mail and was told it would cost $2.40 for fast delivery or $1.30 for slower service.
“There is no hurry,” she told the clerk, “just so the package is delivered in my lifetime.”
He glanced at her and said, “That will be $2.40, please.”
08 nov.
Bad News During Lunch
In the middle of lunch, Mrs. Slotnick is interrupted by a committee of workmen who report that her husband has just been badly wounded on the job and is in critical condition at the hospital. She does not say a word and continues eating.
They say again, „Do you hear what we are telling you, Mrs. Slotnick? Your husband was hurt and he is in critical condition!”
„Gentlemen,” she says, „I heard absolutely every word. And as soon as I finish this soup, you are going to hear such a scream!”
01 nov.
Bank Policy
A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, „Hey, you gave me the wrong change!”
Cashier: „Sir, you stepped away from the counter. We don’t make corrections after you leave. There’s nothing I can do about it now. That’s the policy of this bank!”
Customer: „Well, okay. Just thought you’d like to know you gave me twenty dollars too much. Bye.”
25 oct.
Real Estate
„This house,” said the real estate salesman, „has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I’m honest, I’m going to tell you about both. The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north.”
„What are the advantages?” inquired the prospective buyer.
„The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing.”
18 oct.
Restaurant Wait
Four local, but unmistakable VIP’s arrived for dinner at a New York hotel right at the busiest time. There was no table available and they were kept waiting in the lobby.
The hotel manager spotted them and hurried over to the maitre d’hotel. „Do you realize just who you’ve got waiting in the lobby to be seated?” he asked.
„Indeed I do.” the maitre d’hotel replied. „I’ve already been told four times, sir.”