Leaving the wedding reception the honeymoon couple hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills. The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there and said he would ask directions when they got closer.
Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait and got down to it on the back seat. Seeing a fork in the road the driver said, „I take the next turn, right?”
„No way, get your own,” said the groom, „this one’s all mine.”
A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki to buy furs. He arranges for a hooker to be sent to his room. When they’re done, he said, „I’m afraid my Finnish isn’t too good.”
The hooker replied, „Your foreplay ain’t all that hot either.”
Nina met Rosey at the grocery store one day. Nina sympathetically said, „Oh, Rosey, I was so sorry to hear that you buried your husband the other day.”
Rosey replied, „I had to, he was dead.”
A large two engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down. „No problem,” the engineer thought, and carried on at half-power.
Further on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill.
The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement: „Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that all of our engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that this is a train and not a plane.”
Penny, a good assessment nurse was awakened at 4 a.m. to make a house call. She reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm.
After the examination, she told the patient to send immediately for his lawyer and relatives and friends and make a will.
When she got home and told her husband of what she had seen and done, her husband asked, „Was the patient that bad?”
Penny said, „No, I just didn’t want to be the only sucker called out on a night like this.”
A man, who couldn’t sing, refused to quit the church choir despite hints that he could serve in other capacities. When the choir director had all he could take, he demanded that the pastor get rid of him. „If you don’t, I’m going to resign and so will the other choir members,” the director said.
When the pastor suggested the man leave the choir, the fellow asked, „Why should I?”
„Well,” said the pastor, „four or five people have told me you can’t sing.”
„That’s nothing,” the man snorted. „Fifty people have told me you can’t preach!”
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