28 mart.
The last time John checked into a New York hotel, he opened the door to his room and found a pair of beautiful twenty-one-year-old naked twins stretched out on the bed.
„Surprise,” the twins said in unison, „we’re a gift from your friend Dave.”
„Young ladies,” he said, „I am one of the most respected men in my field. I have been married for twenty years. I have a wonderful family that I love very much. I have never been touched by a word of scandal; my good name is above reproach. I am sorry, but one of you will have to leave!”
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21 mart.
During the church service, the minister invited the young children to join him near the altar for the „Children’s Moments Sermon”.
One day, with seven small children in attendance, he spoke about the ingredients required to make up a church, using a chocolate-chip cookie as an example. He explained to the children that, as with a cookie requiring ingredients such as sugar and eggs, the church needed ingredients to make up the congregation.
Holding a cookie aloft, he asked, „If I took the chocolate chips out of this cookie, what would I have?”
Little Johnny raised his hand. „Six less grams of fat,” he replied.
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14 mart.
Sarah: I’ve been asked to get married hundreds of times.
Miriam (surprised): Really?! By whom?
Sarah: My parents.
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07 mart.
A women’s lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, „Where would man be today if it were not for woman?”
She paused a moment and looked around the room.
„I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?”
From the back of the room came a voice, „He’d be in the Garden of Eden eating strawberries.”
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28 feb.
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. „You’re running around with other women,” she charged.
„You’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. „You’re the only woman on earth.”
The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve. „What do you think you’re doing?” Adam demanded.
„Counting your ribs,” said Eve.
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21 feb.
There was a man who, everyday, would buy a newspaper on the way to work, glance at the headline, and hand it back to the newsboy. Day after day the man would go through this routine. Finally the newsboy could not stand it and he asked the man, „Why do you always buy a paper and only look at the front page before discarding it?”
The man replied, „I am only interested in the obituaries.”
„But they are on page 21. You never even unfold the newspaper.”
„Young man,” he said, „the son of a bitch I’m looking for will be on the front page.”
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