An executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, „If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?”
The blonde quickly responded, „The living one.”
Mary: So we were parked in Lovers’ lane, and he said, „Your skin is so soft.”
Jill: How sweet!
Mary: Yeah, except he was stroking the „fine Corinthian leather” of the upholstery!
Co-workers sympathized as a woman complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture.
„Why don’t you wait till your husband gets home?” someone asked.
„I could,” she told the group, „but the couch is easier to move if he’s not on it.”
Two diners at an inn are shocked to see on the menu a dish of „hickory-smoked possum jowls in pancake syrup.” They summon a waiter to complain.
Their waiter looks at the menu. Then he flings it down and yells to the owner in the kitchen, „Hey, the dammed printers forgot to translate the menu into French again!”
Husband arriving home with an enormous dog to indignant wife who is surrounded by 3 small children:
„But I did consult you – you said a Great Dane was the last thing we needed around here.”
The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her now ex-husband.
They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.
“Steve,” his wife said, while reading the newspaper, “it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate six over-aged destroyers.”
To which the husband replies, “Sorry to hear that, dear. I’m sure you’ll miss your mother being gone.”
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