06 mart.
One night Eve was done with her chores, so she settled down to watch the galactic show on the sky that night. A fine display of shooting stars of every size and color. Adam was rather late coming home. He entered the gardens’ back entrance, being quiet so as not to disturb her viewing. When he sat down next to her to watch the show, she asked why he was so late. Was he seeing someone else?
Adam lovingly told Eve that she was the only woman in the entire universe for him, and he had eyes for none other than Eve and only Eve. She apologized and made a fuss about it, telling Adam that she trusted him completely. She then rolled over and pretended to sleep. When she heard Adam begin to snore, she turned to him and very very carefully, counted each of his ribs.
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27 feb.
One day the wife asked her husband what will he do if she were to die.
The husband replied, „I’ll also die.”
The wife asked him, „Why?”
Husband replied, „Well, you know I have a heart condition and most likely I would not be able to tolerate that much happiness.”
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20 feb.
One morning, while shaving, John was cursing and swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of Vickie, who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen.
„What’s the matter?” she called out.
„My razor – it won’t cut!” he answered.
„Don’t be silly, dear!” she declared. „You mean to tell me your beard is tougher than the linoleum that it cut yesterday?”
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13 feb.
The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the girl he wanted to marry, in spite of her rejection of his proposals a number of times.
He began what can only be called a „Campaigning” and sent her a small token of his affection every day for a month to her house.
The plan was successful too – the young lady fell in love with, and married, the UPS delivery man.
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30 ian.
At an annual Bosses Night dinner for Helena, Montana, lawyers, sponsored by legal secretaries, it was time to announce the Boss of the Year. The master of ceremonies began: „First of all, our winner is a graduate of the University of Montana. So that already eliminates some of you as candidates.
Our winner also is a partner in a downtown Helena law firm. That eliminates some more of you.
Our nominee is honest, upright, dedicated…”
A voice from the audience cut in: „Well, there go the rest of us!”
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23 ian.
A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.
She thinks to herself, „Here’s another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat,” so she pushes him back onto the seat.
A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is still insulted so she refuses to let him up again.
Finally, the man says, „Look, lady, you’ve got to let me get up. I’m twelve blocks past my stop already.”
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