17 apr.
Geraniums
„Sorry, we don’t have potted geraniums,” the clerk said, and then added helpfully. „Could you use African violets?”
„No,” replied Ed sadly. „It was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone.”
Arhiva categoriei 'Jokes'
10 apr.
Good Deed
A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt.
The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man’s hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church.
The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, „And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention…”
03 apr.
Give Them What They Want
A very unpopular but powerful lawyer died. Two of his „friends” saw the obituary notice and decided to go to his funeral. When they arrived, they found the church very crowded.
„My heavens!” said one. „Look at all these people. How do you explain it?”
„Well,” said the other, „Give people what they want and they will all show up.”
27 mart.
Building Rome
Mrs. Taylor, the teacher, asked her 5th grade history class, „When was Rome built?” and called on Timothy to answer first.
„Rome was built at night,” was his answer.
„At night?!” asked Mrs. Taylor. „How ever did you get such an idea?!”
„Well,” gulped the student, hoping his answer would satisfy her, „everyone knows Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
20 mart.
Phone Home
A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she tripped on her rug, grabbed for something to hold on to and seized the telephone table.
It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver off the hook.
As it fell, it hit the family dog, who leaped up, howling and barking. The woman’s three-year-old son, startled by this noise, broke into loud screams. The woman mumbled some colorful words. She finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband’s voice on the other end say, “Nobody’s said hello yet, but I’m positive I have the right number.”
13 mart.
Practicing the Violin
Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold’s violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.
The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, „For Pete’s sake, can’t you play something the dog doesn’t know?!”