10 iul.
Flying home after visiting her daughter in England, Mary arranged to have her husband meet her plane at the Vancouver, B.C. airport. This meant a stop at the border crossing between the United States and Canada, where her husband was asked: „What is your reason for entering the country?” and „How long are you planning to stay?”
He replied that he was picking his wife up at the airport after her trip to England.
Without missing a beat, the guard asked two more questions in the same businesslike tone: „Is the house clean?” and, „Are there fresh flowers on the table?”
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03 iul.
A salesman came to Bill’s door, selling books. Now Bill’s wife is at work and Bill is usually the one who does most of the house chores. Well, Bill answered the door wearing his apron and the salesman goes into his sales pitch about how this one book he has would do half of Bill’s work for him.
Bill ponders this for a minute and then he says, „Are you sure this book will do half of my work for me?”
„Yes, Sir. Absolutely!” answers the salesman.
Bill said, „Well, in that case I reckon I’ll take two of them!”
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26 iun.
Carolyn was down at the Carolina shore and was walking along the water’s edge, when she came upon a man with a rather large belly who was sun bathing on the beach. Feeling a bit down on the male population at the moment, Carolyn caustically remarked, „If that belly was on a woman, I bet you would probably say she was pregnant!”
The man squinted up at her a little annoyed and replied, „It was, and she is!”
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19 iun.
Two small-town merchants were visiting New York City for the first time to attend a conference. There was a large party thrown, with lots of food and drink. At the end of the party, they both staggered outside.
One guy crossed the street, while the other stumbled into a subway entrance. When the first guy reached the other side of the street, he noticed the other emerging from the subway stairs.
„Where ya been?” he slurred.
„I don’t know,” gushed the other guy, „but you should see the train set that guy has in his basement!”
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12 iun.
Jill’s fine figure had been poured into a beautiful form-fitting gown and she made a point of calling her date’s attention to it over and over again throughout the evening.
Finally, over a nightcap in his apartment he said, „You’ve been talking about that dress all evening long. You called my attention to it first when we met for cocktails, mentioned it again at dinner, and still again at the theatre. Now that we’re here alone in my apartment, what do you say we drop the subject?”
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05 iun.
Agnes is an accomplished harpist who frequently plays for weddings,
receptions, parties, and other such events. She is also blonde and has an appropriately cherubic face.
She was on her way to an engagement at the Peabody Hotel in Memphis, and she stepped into an elevator with her large golden harp. Just before the doors closed, a distinguished gray-haired man stepped on. As the elevator rose, he looked thoughtfully first at her and then her harp and asked, „And just how far up are you going?”
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