During a tour at the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, a New York City woman mentioned that she was raising a type of cactus in a pot on her apartment balcony. Another tourist asked her how she kept from watering it too much, because the cactus would die if overwatered.
„I subscribe to the Tucson newspaper,” replied the New Yorker. „Every time I read that it rained in the desert, I give my plant some water.”
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. „You say you’re here,” he inquired, „because your family is worried about your taste in socks?”
„That’s correct,” muttered the patient. „I like wool socks.”
„But that’s perfectly normal,” replied the doctor. „Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks.”
„You DO?” exclaimed the man. „With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?”
The mother was concerned that perhaps her daughter was not only not quite as chaste as she should be, but lately, didn’t even seem to be selective. Trying to open a conversation on the subject of morals she asked, „Susan, do you know where bad girls go?”
„Sure Mom.” the daughter replied. „Anywhere they want…!”
It was Judi’s first plane trip. Boarding the aircraft she settled into a window seat in the non-smoking section. A man came over and politely said, „Ma’am, you’re in my seat.”
„Go away and find another seat!” Judi replied.
He said, „Okay, fine, you fly the plane.”
Rumor has it that the propeller on any light aircraft is only there to keep the pilot and passengers cool.
What, you don’t believe this? If it stops, just watch them start to sweat.
The synagogue wanted to help their congregation cope better with the stresses of modern life, and decided to offer a course in Time Management.
Soon after the course was announced, a member telephoned the Rabbi. „What time does the course start, Rabbi?”
The Rabbi replied, „Oh… fivish, sixish….”
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