20 nov.
One afternoon, a woman was in her back yard hanging laundry when a tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. The woman could tell from the dog’s collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when she walked into the house, the dog followed her, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and the woman let him out.
The next day the dog was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, the woman finally pinned a note to his collar: „Every afternoon, your dog comes to my house for a nap.”
A day later the pooch arrived with another note pinned to his collar: „Thank you for your kindness… We have six children. He’s trying to catch up on his sleep.”
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13 nov.
Jill and Nadine were having lunch and Jill looked a little upset. „What’s wrong?” asked Nadine.
„I’m really worried about myself,” Jill said forlornly. „My memory has always been a source of quiet pride to me, but lately it’s been failing me. I’m having a hard time remembering things from the mundane to the major.”
„I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” Nadine said consolingly, „Sounds like you’ll forget all about it tomorrow.”
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06 nov.
The scene: Alexander Graham Bell’s laboratory. An exciting new discovery is about to take place.
In the next room sits Bell’s assistant, a man named Watson, hard at work on Bell’s new invention to transmit sound over wires.
As Mr. Watson toiled away in the room with the receiver, it suddenly rings – it must be Bell!
He picks it up and hears: „Good evening, sir. Are you paying too much for your long distance service?”
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30 oct.
A plane full of retirees headed for Florida was gripped with fear when the pilot announced, „Two of our engines are on fire; we are flying through a heavy fog, and it has eliminated all our visibility.”
The passengers were numb with fear, except for one… a retired minister. „Now, now, keep calm,” he said. „Let’s all bow our heads and pray.”
Immediately, the group bowed their heads to pray… except one man. „Why aren’t you bowing your head to pray?” the minister asked.
„I don’t know how to pray,” replied the passenger.
„Well, just do something religious!” instructed the minister.
The man got up and passed his hat down the aisle, taking an offering.
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23 oct.
On a family vacation in Texas, Mike exhibited the exuberance of a tourist. At a diner, he and his brothers ordered cheeseburgers. When his meal arrived, the first thing Mike noticed was its size.
„Wow,” he exclaimed, „everything is bigger in Texas!”
As he lifted the burger to his lips, his eyes met the cold stare of a 300-pound waitress.
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09 oct.
A lawyer says to a witness on the stand: „Now, sir, did you, or did you not, on the date in question or at any time, say to the defendant or anyone else that the statement imputed to you and denied by the plaintiff was a matter of moment or otherwise? Yes or no.”
The witness looked at the lawyer and said, „Yes or no, what?”
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