A man complained to his neighbor at the bar, „Yesterday, I thought I’d solved all my problems. I thought I’d found a way to forget my mother-in-law. I went to the pub and got drunk.”
„Did it work?”
„No, when I got home I found two of her waiting.”
A man comes to the birth registration office to register his newborn son.
The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to the boy, and the father replies: „Euro.”
The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it’s a currency.
Says the father: „There were no objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank.”
The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes returned with the lens in her hand.
„How did you manage to find it, Mom?” the teenager asked.
„We weren’t looking for the same thing,” she replied. „You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.”
Bill was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission. Repeated requests for repair brought only promises.
After several days, Bill again contacted the phone company and told that there was no longer a rush. The phone was now working fine… except that all money was being returned upon completion of each call.
A repairman arrived within the hour!
„With a single stroke of a brush,” said the art teacher, taking his class around the National Gallery, „Joshua Reynolds could change a smiling face to a frowning one.”
„That’s nothing,” said Little Johnny, „So can my mother.”
The pretty blonde cashier at the Giant Grocery Store told her manager she needed some time off to rest-up because she wasn’t looking her best.
„Nonsense!” he said, „You look fine!”
„No way!!!” replied the blonde. „The men are beginning to count their change now.”
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