19 dec.
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Christmas was over. Santa and his reindeer finally had a chance to rest. And they deserved it. They had done a good job.
Rudolph had a chance to do something he had wanted to do for a long time. He made an appointment with a plastic surgeon because he was so sensitive about his looks.
However, it wasn’t his glowing proboscis that he wanted changed. He was proud of his nose and the help he had given Santa because of it. No, he was sensitive about his long ears, which were much more prominent than the ears of the average reindeer, or bear, for that matter.
So one week after Christmas, he let the good doctor do the reconstructive surgical procedure, and since that time, January 1st has been celebrated as… New Ears Day.
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year (the only members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females do so), male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolf to Blitzen… had to be a girl.
We should’ve known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, and not get lost.
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