Guards escorted a handcuffed prisoner into the courtroom. „Is this a tough judge?” the prisoner asked the baliff.

The baliff replied, „A tough but fair judge.”

„Yeah?” continued the prisoner. „How tough?”

„The toughest judge since Pontius Pilate,” the baliff replied.

The prisoner answered, „I don’t know him. I’m not from around here.”

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, „What are you charged with?”

„Doing my Christmas shopping early”, replied the defendant.

„That’s no offence”, said the judge. „How early were you doing this shopping?”

„Before the store opened”, countered the prisoner.

A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. „Do you watch much television here?”

„Only the daytime shows,” the inmate said. „At night we’re locked in our cells and don’t see any television.”

„That’s too bad,” the reporter said, „But I do think it is nice that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime.”

„What do you mean, nice?” the inmate said. „That’s part of the punishment.”