On a family vacation in Texas, Mike exhibited the exuberance of a tourist. At a diner, he and his brothers ordered cheeseburgers. When his meal arrived, the first thing Mike noticed was its size.
„Wow,” he exclaimed, „everything is bigger in Texas!”
As he lifted the burger to his lips, his eyes met the cold stare of a 300-pound waitress.
Two buffalo were standing on the range when a passing tourist said: „Those are the mangiest, scroungiest, most moth-eaten miserable beasts I have ever seen.”
One of the buffalo turned to the other and said: „You know, I think I just heard a discouraging word.”
A tour bus load full of noisy tourists arrives at Runnymede, England mid-day. They gather around the guide who says, „This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta.”
A man pushing his way to the front of the crowd asks, „When did that happen?”
„1215,” answers the guide.
The man looks at his watch and says, „Shoot! Just missed it by a half hour!”
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