After being with her all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, „I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.”

„Thank heavens,” his date replied. „If yours hadn’t, mine would have had to!”

In the middle of lunch, Mrs. Slotnick is interrupted by a committee of workmen who report that her husband has just been badly wounded on the job and is in critical condition at the hospital. She does not say a word and continues eating.

They say again, „Do you hear what we are telling you, Mrs. Slotnick? Your husband was hurt and he is in critical condition!”

„Gentlemen,” she says, „I heard absolutely every word. And as soon as I finish this soup, you are going to hear such a scream!”