Kurt was going out with a nice girl and finally popped the question. „Will you marry me, darling?” he asked.

Lisa smiled coyly and said, „Yes, if you’ll buy me a mink.”

Kurt thought for a moment and then replied, „Okay, it’s a deal, on one condition.”

„What is that?” Lisa asked.

„You’ll have to clean the cage,” Kurt replied.

A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, „Have you ever been married?”
„Yes, sir, once,” said the witness in a low voice.

„Whom did you marry?”

„Well, a woman.”

The lawyer said angrily, „Of course you married a woman! Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?”

And the witness said meekly, „My sister did.”

The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the girl he wanted to marry, in spite of her rejection of his proposals a number of times.

He began what can only be called a „Campaigning” and sent her a small token of his affection every day for a month to her house.

The plan was successful too — the young lady fell in love with, and married, the UPS delivery man.

Heather and Marcy hadn’t seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch. The talk naturally got around to their respective love lives.

Marcy confided that there really wasn’t anyone special in her life. Heather, on the other hand, was beaming about the new man she had found. „He’s perfect. He’s handsome, and last night when we went out to dinner, he said the four little words I’ve been waiting to hear a man say to me!”

„He said ‘will you marry me’?” Marcy asked.

Heather replied, „No, he said ‘put your money away’.”

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. „The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing, Entertain. And stay home at night!”

An old granny overheard and spoke up, „Girl, if that’s all you want, get a TV!”

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