Arhiva categoriei 'Jokes'

25 Aug

Piano Tuner

The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front porch.

„Madam,” he announced, „I’m the piano tuner.”

The lady exclaimed, „Why, I didn’t send for a piano tuner.”

The man replied, „I know you didn’t, but your neighbors did.”

18 Aug

Magician

Mike picked up an attractive woman, named Linda, who flagged down his car in a seedy part of town. As they rode, he asked her what she did for a living. Linda winked at Mike and said, „I’m a magician.”

„No way,” Mike scoffed. “Prove it.”

So Linda touched him on the thigh, and „Poof” Mike turned into a hotel.

11 Aug

Dude in the Desert

There is a California dude walking through a desert. He’s wearing shorts, sunglasses, a towel and listening to music on his iPod. He’s having a good time. Suddenly he sees a caravan approaching. He stops the Arabs and ask them cheerfully: „Hey dudes, how far is the sea?”

They look at each other and say: „Two thousand miles!”

And he says: „Wow what a cool beach!!!”

04 Aug

Salesmanship

John applied for a job as an insurance salesman. Where the form requested „prior experience,” he wrote „lifeguard.” That was it. Nothing else.

„We’re looking for someone who can not only sell insurance, but who can sell himself as well,” said the hiring manager. „How does working as a lifeguard pertain to salesmanship?”

John replied, „I couldn’t swim.”

He got the job.

28 Iul

Alligators

A New Yorker was being shown around the back country of Louisiana by his cousin. „Is it true that an alligator won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?” he asked.

The cousin smirked, „Depends on how fast you carry it.”

21 Iul

Toaster

While visiting his mother in the hospital, Jim stopped in the cafeteria for breakfast. He set a piece of bread on the moving toaster rack and waited for it to pass under the heated coils and return golden brown. Instead, it got stuck at the back of the toaster, and he couldn’t reach it.

The woman next to him in line quickly seized a pair of tongs, reached in, and fished out the piece of toast. Jim joked, „You must be an emergency room worker.”

„No,” she replied with a grin. „I’m an obstetrician.”

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