Arhiva categoriei 'Jokes'

12 Mai

Blonde Hijacker

Airport Security alerted an airline crew to keep an eye a blonde passenger who appeared excessively nervous and shifty-eyed. Soon after takeoff, the blonde man called a stewardess to his seat and said, „I have a live grenade in my pocket. I’ll blow up the plane if you do not divert to Cairo.”

Perplexed, the stewardess said, „But, sir. This is TWA flight 1219 to Cairo.”

„Damn!” replied the blonde passenger, „I got on the wrong plane.”

05 Mai

Sheep

The teacher came up with a good problem. „Suppose,” she asked the second-graders, „there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?”

„None,” answered little Norman.

„None? Norman, you don’t know your arithmetic.”

„Teacher, you don’t know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!”

28 Apr

Tough

When the waitress came to work, the manager met her at the door.

„Look,” he said, „I want you to put on your cutest uniform, fix your hair lovely, see that your makeup is on neat and walk with that extra-sexy walk.”

„Something special on?” she asked.

„No,” he replied, „The beef is tough.”

21 Apr

Poor Pastor

A new member of a church is talking to the Pastor: „You have such a small congregation. How can they afford to pay you?”

The Pastor said, „Well, I only earn $60 a week.”

The man is dumbfounded. „Pastor, how in the world can you get by on an amount that small?”

„Well, I tell ya. If I wasn’t such a religious man and didn’t fast three days a week, I’d probably starve to death.”

14 Apr

Tough Judge

Guards escorted a handcuffed prisoner into the courtroom. „Is this a tough judge?” the prisoner asked the baliff.

The baliff replied, „A tough but fair judge.”

„Yeah?” continued the prisoner. „How tough?”

„The toughest judge since Pontius Pilate,” the baliff replied.

The prisoner answered, „I don’t know him. I’m not from around here.”

07 Apr

Cleaning Service

The featured guest on a local radio talk show was a woman who owned a home-cleaning service. After she described what her clients could expect, the program’s telephone lines were opened to the audience.

The first caller struck to the heart of every woman who had ever contemplated employing such a service. Her question: „How much cleaning do I have to do before your people come?”

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