Arhiva categoriei 'Jokes'

03 aug.

Good When Wet

Nina kind of liked Bob, the bartender down at the shore and was flirting with him for a couple of days. She ordered a drink and was going to pay for it, and she said jokingly, „This money is all wet, is it still good?”

Bob said, „I don’t know, would you be good if you were wet?”

27 iul.

New Bra

A scientist in Australia has invented a bra, which offers more support and prevents a woman’s breasts from bouncing up and down.

After announcing his invention, the scientist was taken outside and beaten by a large group of men.

20 iul.

Chasing the Truck

As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing. Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath.

In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine, „If that’s the way you want it, you can keep your bloody ice creams!”

13 iul.

Blonde Flying the Plane

A blonde is on board a small two-seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. „Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!” she screams.

Ground control receives her call for help and answers back: „Don’t worry, madam. I’ll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position.”

„I’m 5″2′ and sitting in the front.”

06 iul.

Wrong Number

A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the number and then sang „Happy Birthday” to him. But when they finished their off-key rendition, they discovered that they had dialed the wrong number.

„Don’t let it bother you,” said a strange but amused voice. „You folks need all the practice you can get.”

29 iun.

Behind the Church

The preacher got up in church one Sunday morning and told the congregation, „Brothers and sisters, we are going to have to do something about people parking behind the church at night. I was out there this morning and there are enough beer cans out there to build a car.”

One of the old sisters stood up and said, „Amen brother and enough rubbers to put tires on it.”

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