A woman writing at post-office desk was approached by a man whose hand was in a cast.

“Pardon me,” said the man, “but could you please address this post card for me?”

The woman gladly did so, agreeing also to write a short message and sign for him. “There,” said the woman, smiling. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Yes,” the man replied, “At the end could you put ‘P.S. – Please excuse the handwriting’?”

Three old guys were out walking.
First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?”
Second one says, “No, its Thursday”!!
Third one says, “So am I. Lets go get a beer.”

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together.

After the man received the full treatment – shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. – he placed the boy in the chair. “I’m going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade,” he said. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

When the boy’s haircut was completed and the man still hadn’t returned, the barber said, “Looks like your daddy’s forgotten all about you.”

“That wasn’t my daddy,” said the boy. “He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, ‘Come on, son, we’re gonna get a free haircut!’”

A man was being proselytized by group of friends. “Come join our study group. We want to discuss mankind’s relationship to God.”

“I’m married, I learned long ago that my opinions don’t matter.”

“But, when you die, will you go to heaven or to hell?”

“Wherever my wife tells me to.”

In a nursery school, the teacher asked a little girl what she was drawing.

“God,” she replied.

“But no one knows what God looks like,” said the teacher.

The little girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

The family had spent the day moving from their farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, the 4 year-old ran into their bedroom to wake them up. Mom dressed him and told him to play in the yard and let them rest for a while longer.

About 20 minutes later, he came running back.

“Mommy, Mommy,” he exclaimed, “Everybody has doorbells…. and they all work!”