Arhiva categoriei 'Jokes'

18 ian.

Adam and Eve

A German, a Frenchman, and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve strolling in the Garden of Eden.

„Look at their reserve, their stoicism,” muses the German. „They must be German.”

„Nonsense,” the Frenchman disagrees. „They’re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, the are French.”

„No clothes, no shelter.” The Russian points out, „they only have an apple to eat, and they’re being told this is paradise. They are Russian!”

11 ian.

Change of Plans

A bride called to make a change to her wedding registry. It is common, almost expected, that a bride will change something on her registry at least once (dishes, color of towels, etc.).

The Customer Service Representative told her that J.C. Penney would be happy to make the change. He asked if the bride wanted to change the dishes or the linens.

The bride said, „No, keep all that. I just wanted to change the name of the groom.”

04 ian.

Health or Wealth

Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack’s Last Will and Testament.

„To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the Jaguar. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill.”

28 dec.

Fancy Restaurant

A Native American walks into a posh restaurant. The maitre’d greets him at the counter and says, „I’m terribly sorry sir, but we have no tables available at this time.”

„That’s okay”, replies the Indian, „I have a reservation.

21 dec.

Gift Prayers

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. „I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE… I PRAY FOR A NEW GAME CONSOLE… I PRAY FOR A NEW SNEAKERS…”

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, „Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.” To which the little brother replied, „No, but Gramma is!”

14 dec.

Formal

One night as she prepared for bed, Jill rubbed her hands with petroleum jelly and covered them with an old pair of white gloves. As she sat in bed reading a book with her gloves on, her husband finished showering and came into the room wearing a towel.

Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie and started wearing it.

„What are you doing?” Jill asked.

„Well,” he replied, „if you are going to be formal, so am I.”

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