Arhiva categoriei 'Jokes'

11 Mai

Parking Space

While walking through a parking lot, a man tripped and fell flat on his face. As he was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, „Are you hurt?”

„No, I’m fine,” he said, touched by her concern.

„Oh, good,” she continued. „So will you be vacating your parking space now?”

27 Apr

Gladden Seven Hearts

An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends and says with a warm smile, „I gladdened seven hearts today.”

„Seven hearts?” asks the friend. „How did you do that?”

The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, „I performed three marriages.”

The friend looks at him quizzically. „Seven?” he asks. „I could understand six, but…”

„Well, I ask you,” says the rabbi, „do you think that I do this for free?”

20 Apr

Birth Control Pills

For the „Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology,” researchers spent a considerable amount of research funds and claim to have found that birth control pills give women’s voices a more pleasant sound.

Of course any idiot could have told them that, because men always think it’s more pleasant to hear „Yes,” than „No.”

13 Apr

Wing Commander

Jim always loved fast cars. Taking advantage of the empty roads one morning, he accelerated down a wide-open stretch. Unfortunately, a young police officer was waiting at the other end, and Dad was flagged down. He greeted the officer with a cheery „Good morning.”

„And a good morning to you, Wing Commander,” replied the officer.”Having trouble taking off?”

06 Apr

Praying with the Sick

A young boy called the pastor of a local „corner” church to ask the pastor to come by to pray for his mother who had been very ill with the flu. The pastor knew the family and was aware they had been attending another church down the road. So the pastor asked, „Shouldn’t you be asking Brother Simon down the road to come by to pray with your mom?”

The young boy replied, „Yeah, but we didn’t want to take the chance that he might catch whatever it is that Mom has.”

30 Mar

Mother’s Visit

Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband.

„Henry,” she said, „I’ve just received a letter from mother saying she isn’t accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn’t you?”

„Er, yes, I did,” said the husband. „But I couldn’t spell ‘convenience,’ so I made it ‘risk.”

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