The weeping wife poured out her heart to the eminent marriage counselor. „Isn’t there some way -without turning into a nag- that I can keep my husband in line?”
The counselor scowled. „Young lady,” he said, „your husband shouldn’t have to wait in line!”
A female truck driver decided to buy herself a big dog for protection while she was on the road. She went to the local animal shelter and asked about one particularly large and fierce-looking dog and the attendant told her, „He doesn’t like men.” Perfect, she thought, and so she bought him.
Later that week, she was in a dark parking lot and two big, rough looking men started walking toward her.
Sure enough, as the attendant at the animal shelter had told her, the dog didn’t like men. He promptly ran and cowered under the nearest car.
A truck driver tried to edge his semi past the lady driver on the road ahead of him as she was obviously having difficulty deciding which lane she wanted to be in. Finally, her mind made up, the woman veered into the truck driver’s lane and jammed on her brakes, which resulted in a slight collision.
Unhurt but obviously harried, the lady driver rushed over to the truck driver and started to bawl him out, barking, „You knew I was going to do something idiotic. Why didn’t you stop to wait and see what it was?”
Two accountants were discussing a colleague’s interest in one of the firm’s new secretaries.
„I just don’t get it.” said one. „She’s an airhead — nothing going on upstairs.”
“That may be true,” replied the other, „but I don’t think that’s the floor he’s getting off on.”
An old geezer was watching television when he screamed to his wife, „Git in here right now. You won’t believe the perverted thing they’re showing on TV.”
His wife took one look, then said, „Put your glasses on, you old goat. That’s just Castro eating a banana.”
Aboard the USS TARAWA for six months, Don posted a picture of his beloved truck in his locker. Since his fellow Marines had pictures of their girlfriends posted, they often ridiculed him for his object of adoration.
„Laugh all you want,” Don told them. „At least my truck will still be there when I get home.”