Arhiva categoriei 'Jokes'

30 aug.

Dead Husband

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other’s health, one asked how the other’s husband was doing.

„Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to cut a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!”

„Oh dear! I’m very sorry,” replied her friend, „What did you do?”

„Called and had a pizza delivered instead.”

17 mai

Wrong House

An old fellow was snoozing away contentedly when he was startled awake by the doorbell. He staggered off the couch to make his way to the door. There stood a gorgeous young woman.

„Oh my goodness,” the pretty young thing exclaimed, „I’m at the wrong house.”

„Sweetheart, you’re at the right house,” the old guy assured her. „But you’re forty years too late.”

17 mai

Delivery Room

The woman was in labor in the delivery room with her husband at her side coaching her just the way he learned in the Lamaze class.

It seemed like an eternity before the doctor finally announced, „I’ve got the head now; just a few more minutes.”

„Is it a girl or boy?” the husband asked excitedly.

The doctor replied, „It’s hard to tell by the ears.”

10 mai

Affordable Cars

The fourth-grade class was studying the development of the auto industry. The teacher had emphasized the role played by Henry Ford, whose assembly lines decreased production costs. At the end of the unit, she gave a test including the question: „What did Henry Ford invent that made buying a car more affordable?”

One of the brightest students in the class wrote: „0% financing.”

03 mai

Driving Lesson

Elizabeth was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving lesson. As she was pulling out of the parking lot, the instructor said, „Turn left here, and don’t forget to let the people behind you know what you’re doing.”

Elizabeth turned to the students sitting in the backseat and announced, „I’m going left.”

03 mai

Hungry Dog

A guest at dinner noticed the small family dog looking hungrily at every bite she took.

Finally she took a small piece of meat from her plate and held it up for him. „Speak!” she said to the dog.

The dog says, „Under the circumstances, I hardly know what to say!”

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