Arhiva categoriei 'Jokes'

17 Feb

Object of Adoration

Aboard the USS TARAWA for six months, Don posted a picture of his beloved truck in his locker. Since his fellow Marines had pictures of their girlfriends posted, they often ridiculed him for his object of adoration.

„Laugh all you want,” Don told them. „At least my truck will still be there when I get home.”

10 Feb

New Hobby

Mrs. Smith pulled Mrs. Jones out of earshot of the porch, where Mrs. Jones’ lovely young daughter, Linda, sat. „It is really none of my business,” whispered Mrs. Smith, „but have you noticed what your daughter is doing?”

„Why, no. Is she up to anything special?”

Mrs. Smith leaned closer. „Haven’t you noticed? She has started knitting tiny garments!”

Mrs. Jones’ troubled brow cleared. „Well, thank goodness,” she said smiling, „at last she has taken an interest in something besides running around with boys.”

03 Feb

Burglar

A man was sleeping when his wife shook him and said, „Wake up! Someone is breaking in!”

The man had gone through this almost every night for 20 years, and he knew that the only way he would get any rest was to go and check it out. This time, however, there was a man with a gun who entered to rob the house.

As the thief was about to leave the man said, „You have to go and meet my wife.”

The thief said, „Why would you want me to meet your wife?”

The man explained, „Well, she’s been expecting you for 20 years.”

27 Ian

On the Table

John calls Jill from work and says he will be home by 5 PM and hopes that dinner will be on the table when he gets there.

He arrives home and enters the kitchen and sees a package of pasta, jar of sauce, and can of vegetables on the kitchen table. „Jill, I specifically called you from work to let you know when I would be home. Where is my dinner?”

„Dinner IS on the table, John. It’s just not prepared.”

20 Ian

Automated Society

What an automated society we live in.

Have you ever noticed that when a traffic signal turns green, it automatically activates the horn of the car behind you?

13 Ian

Male Employees

In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, „Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous… or what?”

„Not at all, Ma’am,” the manager replied. „It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don’t pout when I yell at them.”

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