Arhiva categoriei 'Jokes'

12 Ian

New Baby

A man who suffered from impotence went to see a doctor. The doctor gave him a revolutionary new injection made from monkey glands, which worked perfectly. Nine months and two weeks later, his wife had a baby.

When the nurse came out of the delivery room with the news, he asked, „Is it a boy or a girl?”

„We won’t know until it comes down off the chandelier.”

05 Ian

Buy Me a Mink

Kurt was going out with a nice girl and finally popped the question. „Will you marry me, darling?” he asked.

Lisa smiled coyly and said, „Yes, if you’ll buy me a mink.”

Kurt thought for a moment and then replied, „Okay, it’s a deal, on one condition.”

„What is that?” Lisa asked.

„You’ll have to clean the cage,” Kurt replied.

29 Dec

Stupid Gift

Jill: How was your Christmas?

Mary: Oh, it was just fine. How was yours?

Jill: Pretty good… At least this year I didn’t get any useless or stupid gifts. Did you ever get a gift that you just hated?

Mary: Yeah, one year I got one of those talking scales. The first thing it said to me was, „One of you has to get off!”

22 Dec

Santa Claus

The four stages of life:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

15 Dec

Carry-on Luggage

Explaining luggage regulations to passengers can be aggravating for flight attendants. One day a woman tried to board with an enormous bag. The lead flight attendant told her why it would not fit, but the woman argued that her bag was a carry-on because it had wheels and a handle.

Without blinking the attendant said, „My Ford has wheels and a handle, but that doesn’t make it a carry-on.”

08 Dec

Good Old Days

Grandpa John was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular…

„When I was a boy, my momma could send me to the store, and I’d get a ham, a quart of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o’ bread, and a Jet magazine… all fo’ a quarter!! You can’t DO that no mo’… them daing video cameras is ever’where ya look……”

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